Unlock A Much Happier Relationship With This Mindset Shift

 

 

 

As you grow closer to your partner, the obstacles you face as a couple shed light on your individual coping mechanisms, behavioral patterns, and conflict responses. While everyone deals with challenging situations differently based on their experiences and personalities, it's possible for two people in a relationship to clash due to the way they address both major events and everyday stressors. For instance,

there can be major discrepancies between how you and your partner adapt to situations as they arise, which may shake the relationship's foundation. 

According to experts, the ways in which you handle conflict, discomfort, or life goals come from to your personal sense of psychological flexibility. This doesn't refer to mental gymnastics, but rather a mental and emotional skill set that encourages open-mindedness and perseverance in the face of stressful or negative life experiences. "What psychological flexibility boils down to is staying in the present moment and being open to experiencing whatever thoughts or feelings may arise, and then take action that is aligned with our values," psychologist Rachel Goldman explained to Verywell Mind.

Simply put, when individuals display mental flexibility in their day-to-day lives, they contribute to a healthier, longer-lasting relationship. On the other hand, people who exhibit mental inflexibility may react rigidly or negatively in stressful circumstances, exhibiting less mental and emotional resilience. As such, couples can help their relationship flourish by working together to increase both parties' psychological flexibility. 

Psychological flexibility increases relationship satisfaction

Becoming more mentally and emotionally flexible benefits a relationship in several ways. For instance, a 2020 study published in the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science found that psychological inflexibility dampened both "relationship satisfaction" and "sexual satisfaction" in relationships. What's more, the research indicated that mindful flexibility leads to "stronger connections" and "emotional supportiveness." In other words, individuals who navigate stressful situations with psychological flexibility and adaptability report feeling more satisfied in their relationship.

Additionally, a lack of mental and emotional flexibility is marked by decreased awareness of your partner's wants and needs and difficulty adapting to new perspectives or life changes. These tendencies affect intimacy and connection between partners, which can lead to the aforementioned lack of sexual fulfillment. That said, a strong emotional connection and mutual respect are signs of a healthy relationship. Therefore, people who confront relationship bumps and hiccups with a healthy level of compassion, trust, and psychological flexibility have a better chance at sustaining a long-term relationship with their partner.

It also allows healthier conflict management

If you want to attract better partners and build a strong relationship, addressing psychological inflexibility should be your top priority. This is especially true if you or your partner struggle to deal with conflict in a healthy way. Inflexibility is attributed to poor emotional regulation, which impacts your ability to respond to your partners' feelings and needs with empathy. A mentally inflexible person tends to react less mindfully to conflict, responding solely based on how they feel in the moment rather than thinking through their overall feelings or values. This aligns with findings from the 2020 Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science study, which found that psychological inflexibility is characterized by a greater tendency toward negative emotional reactions and physical manifestations of upset, like hitting a wall. Conversely, an individual with greater mental flexibility can still feel negative emotions while arguing but will let them pass without acting on them.

Ultimately, "[b]eing psychologically flexible allows you to see the other person's side and work on a compromise," licensed marriage and family counselor Melissa Divaris Thompson explained to Well + Good. "This can bring safety and trust into a relationship and allow [someone] to feel heard and seen. It also allows you to be able to have difficult conversations to work toward a deeper feeling of intimacy. Being psychologically flexible in relationships is necessary for keeping the relationship feeling balanced, fair, and intimate." If you need a little help getting there — and there's no shame in that — working with a counselor well-versed in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help you develop your psychological flexibility skills.

 

-Glam