‘Installment’ Sex As Payment
“Some
debts are too heavy to owe.”
I met Felix
at a rooftop bar in Lekki, on one of those nights Lagos pretends to be Paris.
Wine glasses clinked against the neon skyline. He leaned in like he knew
secrets I wanted to hear.
Felix was older, soft-spoken, polished. He worked in tech, or so he said, and drove a
matte black Benz that smelled of imported leather and expensive intentions. From the start, he made his interest clear.He said I
was beautiful, but that my body could “match my potential” if I just considered
“a little enhancement.”
He wasn't
the first to hint at it. Friends had done theirs abroad and came back shaped
like dreams; hips full, waist snatched, followers doubled. I’d scrolled through
Instagram late at night, staring at their transformation videos, wondering if
maybe, just maybe, it would be my turn next.
So when
Felix offered to pay for a BBL in Turkey, no strings attached, according to
him, it felt like a shortcut to the version of myself I’d always
imagined. 
"Let
me take care of you," he
said, his smile smooth as melted chocolate. "Consider it an
investment."
I should
have asked, “An investment in what?”
The clinic
in Istanbul was pristine, all white walls all white walls and gleaming steel,
smelled like antiseptic and fear. 
The surgeon
spoke in broken English, tracing lines on my hips with a marker. "More
curve, yes? Like Kim Kardashian?"
Felix held
my hand as they put me under. "You’re going to look
incredible," he murmured.
When I woke
up, my body was aching and swollen. Tunde Felix fed me painkillers, adjusting
my pillows, his eyes gleaming with something I mistook for pride.
"Wait
till you see it," he
said. "You’re a masterpiece now."
When I
eventually returned to Lagos, Felix accompanied me. He kissed my forehead like
a proud sponsor. The first few weeks were bliss. We went shopping, had quiet
dinners, and joked about how I’d make him broke with this new “hotness.”
But the mood
shifted soon enough.
He stopped
calling me babe. He started saying things like, “I hope you know this
wasn’t free.” Or, “You think I sent you to Turkey for sightseeing?”
Then came
the installment plan.
“If
you can’t pay back in cash, pay in kind,” he said one night, leaning on my doorframe like a debt
collector. “I’m not a philanthropist.”
He meant
sex. Scheduled. On demand. Installment by installment.
I said no,
at first. He laughed. “So you want to eat life with a big spoon and
pretend someone else picked the bill?”
The truth
is, I didn’t have the voice to fight him then. Not after I’d posted the new
body all over my page. Not after the comments that said “Soft life
loading.” Not after friends commented “God when?”
So I gave in
for a while. Until I didn’t.
I eventually
blocked him, deleted the pictures, and started over. The body stayed, but the
shame took longer to leave.
I tell this
story now not for pity, but so someone else knows that nothing is ever truly
free when men think your body is a transaction.
Some debts
are too heavy to owe.
Credit:
Pulseng

 
 
 
 
 
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