The difference between a thriving
relationship and a failing one often comes down to habits. Unhealthy habits can
breed resentment, while healthy ones foster respect and appreciation.
If you don’t want your partner to take you for granted, there are certain habits you’ll
need to kick to the curb.This article will be your guide to
saying goodbye to those nine habits that may be hurting your relationship.
And remember, it’s all about
creating a relationship where both partners feel valued and respected.
1) Always being available
In relationships, availability is a
double-edged sword.
On the one hand, being there for
your partner when they need you is crucial. It’s a key component of support and
shows that you care.
But always being on-call? That’s a different story.
When you’re perpetually available,
it can inadvertently communicate to your partner that your time isn’t valuable,
that you have no other commitments or interests outside of them. Over time,
this can lead to your partner taking your time and presence for granted.
Striking a balance is essential.
Being there for your partner doesn’t mean you have to be at their beck and call
24/7.
It’s okay to have your own time.
It’s okay to pursue your own interests. And it’s okay to say “no” sometimes.
By setting boundaries and valuing
your own time, you teach your partner to do the same.
2) Over-apologizing
I used to be an over-apologizer – I
would say sorry for even the slightest mistakes, for things that weren’t even
my fault.
One time, I remember apologizing
when my partner forgot our anniversary. I found myself saying “I’m sorry, I
should have reminded you.” It was then I realized how unhealthy my habit of
over-apologizing had become.
Apologizing when necessary is
important for maintaining a healthy relationship. However, constantly saying
sorry, especially for things out of your control or not your responsibility,
can lead your partner to take you for granted.
It took me some time to break this
habit, but when I did, I noticed a significant change in my relationship. My
partner began to respect me more and our communication improved.
It’s okay to apologize when you’re
at fault, but don’t let “sorry” become a reflex response to every situation.
3) Neglecting self-care
Self-care is more than just a
buzzword. It’s an essential part of maintaining both physical and mental
health. According to a study published in the Journal of Health Psychology,
individuals who practice regular self-care report higher levels of self-esteem
and life satisfaction.
Yet, in relationships, it’s easy to
lose yourself in the process of caring for another person. You may put your
partner’s needs before your own, skip your workouts to spend time with them, or
neglect your hobbies because you think it will make them happy.
However, neglecting self-care can
lead your partner to take you for granted. When you always put yourself last,
your partner might begin to expect it.
Prioritizing self-care isn’t
selfish. It’s necessary. Taking time for yourself not only benefits you but
also contributes to a healthier and more balanced relationship.
Whether it’s working out, reading a
book, or just spending some quiet time alone, ensure you make time for
self-care.
4) Ignoring your own needs
In a relationship, it’s crucial to
be aware of and vocalize your own needs.
When you continually sideline your
needs, desires, and aspirations for the sake of your partner, it may lead to
them taking you for granted. They may start to see this as the norm and fail to
recognize your sacrifices.
Expressing your needs doesn’t mean
you’re selfish or demanding. It simply means you’re acknowledging that you’re
an individual with unique needs and desires.
A healthy relationship is about
mutual respect and understanding.
Don’t shy away from communicating
what you need from your partner – whether it’s emotional support, help with
chores, or some alone time.
Being upfront about your needs can
lead to a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.
5) Avoiding confrontation
Confrontation isn’t always a bad thing.
In fact, it’s often necessary for the growth and health of a relationship.
When you constantly avoid
confrontation, you might think you’re keeping the peace. But in reality, you
could be allowing your partner to overlook issues or behaviors that need
addressing.
Silence can be interpreted as
acceptance. By not speaking up when something bothers you, your partner might
assume it’s okay, leading them to take your feelings for granted.
A healthy relationship involves open
communication. Don’t be afraid to address issues head-on. It may lead to
temporary discomfort, but it can ultimately strengthen your bond and ensure
that your feelings are respected and not taken for granted.
6) Losing your individuality
Love has a peculiar way of making us
merge our lives with our partners. It’s a beautiful process, but in this
merger, it’s important not to lose sight of who you are as an individual.
I’ve seen countless friends fall
into the trap of giving up their individuality in relationships. They start
doing everything their partner enjoys, even if it means giving up their own
hobbies and interests.
Before they know it, they’ve become
a shadow of their former selves, living a life that’s more about pleasing their
partner than expressing their own identity. This not only leads to personal
dissatisfaction but also allows the partner to take them for granted.
Never forget that you’re an
individual first. You have your own tastes, hobbies, and passions. And it’s
okay to have a life outside your relationship. In fact, it’s necessary.
Maintaining your individuality is
not only vital for your personal growth but also keeps your relationship
vibrant and balanced. It reminds your partner that you’re a unique person who
brings something special to the table.
7) Constantly picking up after them
In a past relationship, I found
myself always cleaning up after my partner. He’d leave his clothes on the
floor, dishes in the sink, and I’d be the one tidying up. In my mind, I was
just being helpful.
But over time, I realized this was
contributing to him taking me for granted. He started expecting me to clean up
after him, not acknowledging that it was an additional burden on me.
Household chores should be shared
responsibilities, not one person’s job. By constantly picking up after your
partner, you’re allowing them to shirk their responsibilities and take your
efforts for granted.
Have an open discussion about chore
distribution and make sure it’s fair. It might seem like a small thing, but it
can have a significant impact on how your partner values your contributions to
the relationship.
8) Suppressing your emotions
Emotions are a natural part of being
human. They’re a clear indicator of your mental and emotional state and should
never be suppressed or ignored.
When you constantly hide your
emotions from your partner, whether out of fear of confrontation or to maintain
a facade of happiness, you’re doing a disservice to yourself and your
relationship.
Suppressing your emotions can make
your partner oblivious to your feelings, leading them to take you for granted.
They might assume everything’s fine when it’s not.
Open communication is key in any
relationship. Don’t be afraid to express how you feel, be it happiness,
sadness, or frustration. Your feelings are valid, and expressing them allows
your partner to understand and respect your emotional boundaries.
9) Settling for less
In relationships, settling for less
than you deserve is the quickest route to being taken for granted.
When you consistently accept
behavior that doesn’t meet your standards or compromise your values to please
your partner, you’re sending a message that it’s okay for them to treat you
poorly.
But remember this: You are worthy of
respect, love, and kindness. You deserve a partner who values you and never
takes you for granted.
Don’t settle. Stand up for yourself,
voice your concerns, and demand the respect you deserve. Your relationship will
be better off for it.
Final thoughts: It’s about mutual respect
At the heart of every thriving
relationship is mutual respect.
Respect, in essence, is acknowledging the worth and dignity
of another person. It’s about valuing their time, their efforts, their
feelings, and most importantly, their individuality.
When respect is mutual in a
relationship, the chances of one partner taking the other for granted diminish
significantly.
Remember, you are not just someone’s
partner; you are your own person with unique needs and aspirations. Never let
these be overshadowed by your commitment to your partner.
Breaking habits that lead to being taken for granted isn’t easy,
but it’s worth it. It paves the way for a more balanced and fulfilling
relationship.
So value yourself, voice your needs,
maintain your individuality, and above all else, never settle for less than the respect
you deserve. As the renowned psychoanalyst Esther Perel once said, “The quality
of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.”
Credit:
Greediting
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