Tiktok’s Relationship Tests Are Taking Over But Do They Really Work?

 

These TikTok relationship tests are trendy and super fun but also toxic.

On your TikTok “For You” page, someone is trying the Bird Theory (“If he notices what excites you, he’s emotionally tuned in”). 

Another person swears by the Door Test as proof of whether or not your partner is selfish. Then there’s the Orange Peel Theory, which claims peeling fruit for your

partner is the ultimate act of love.

Psychologically, this tests what experts call "bids for connection.” Those small moments when we reach out to our partners for attention and emotional connection.

These videos rack up millions of views. But if you scroll long enough, you’ll notice they’re not really about love. They’re about validation. Here are the relationship tests taking over TikTok.

The Bird (Test) Theory

It’s simple. You mention something small but fun to you, like a bird flying by. If your partner doesn’t acknowledge it, TikTok says they’re emotionally unavailable.

You may as well break up and enter the dating pool. If they ask you about the bird and are tuned in, they are a green flag and for keeps.

This is based on a 1990s psychology study that suggests that small moments of shared attention (“Look, a bird!”) reveal emotional connection. 

The Door Test

Since the resurfacing of the 1993 film A Bronx Tale on TikTok, the Door test has become popular. 

This test measures how thoughtful and considerate your partner is, specifically whether they make small, caring gestures (like opening a door) that show attention, respect, and effort in the relationship.

In TikTok terms, it’s seen as a quick way to gauge chivalry, attentiveness, and emotional awareness. Basically, whether your partner naturally looks out for you without being told.

If you pass, you are chivalrous or feminine. If you fail, you're selfish and self-absorbed. You don’t deserve love and should be by yourself till the end of time.

Orange Peel Theory

This one’s sweeter. How does it work? You simply ask your partner to peel an orange for you. If they peel it without complaining, it’s proof of their love and their willingness to go high and above for you.

If they refuse, it’s a red flag. The verdict is that you break up with them. Forget that they helped with the dishes, laundry, or other chores around the house. 

The scope of this test goes beyond peeling an orange. It’s basically testing the strength of your relationship based on your partner's ability to perform small acts of service for you.

Bare Minimum Trend

This one’s especially big among Nigerian creators. It calls out partners who are praised for doing the least, like replying to texts or remembering birthdays – all the things that should be normal.

There are many other tests, like the Barbie test, which suggests that women should dump partners who find the movie or its feminist theme ridiculous. 

Each test sounds harmless and fun until you realise how deeply people believe them.

Why Are We So Obsessed With These Tests?

We’re hooked on these relationship tests because they make love feel measurable. They offer a quick way to find certainty in a world full of mixed signals. 

Your partner's passing equals validation that what you share is real. On the flip side, failing turns into a mini therapy session in the comments.

The Emotional Cost of Constant Relationship Testing

What happens when we're always testing our partners? The constant vigilance creates relationship anxiety. 

This is a state of hyper-awareness focused on finding flaws rather than building connections. Am I loved? Am I valued? Does my partner truly care? Is she selfish? 

But when we're constantly setting traps rather than connecting, we create an environment of suspicion rather than safety.

These tests also oversimplify complex human behaviour. A partner might fail the bird test because they're stressed about work, not because they don't care. 

They might forget to peel your orange, but remember your most important childhood story. Maybe they're simply not wired to express affection the TikTok way. 

What This Test Means for Your Relationship 

In reality, these TikTok relationship tests aren't really about birds, oranges or car doors.

It points out how we've turned relationships into entertainment and reality shows to the point that we've lost the art of connection beyond social media.

These tests have slowly replaced what we believe love should look like. When your partner fails a test, it might sting because you needed proof.

The urge to test your partner could mean that you're craving reassurance…a need to stay and feel loved. These feelings also point to an emotional or attachment issue that the love will leave again. 

What to Do When Your Partner Fails

Sometimes, we just need something to validate what we've been feeling all along. These simple checks provide concrete-looking answers to abstract questions. Am I loved? Am I valued? Does my partner truly care?

If you've been feeling neglected or silenced, or the relationship is getting toxic, leaving might be the answer.

But leaving because your partner failed a viral TikTok test screams emotional immaturity. So where do we go from here? How do we navigate relationships in the age of performance without losing what's real?

The answer might lie in turning inward rather than outward for validation. Instead of setting traps, have real conversations. This might look like:

• Direct communication about your emotional needs instead of hoping they'll pass unspoken tests.
• Noticing patterns of behaviour over time rather than isolated moments.
• Valuing private relationship satisfaction over public perception.
• Embracing imperfection as part of any genuine human connection.